Our Story and Premarital Resources

Brent Pittman —  02/08/2012


Our Engagement Picture

So are you and your potential spouse financially compatible? If you’re not sure, review these questions with your potential mate. I’ll share our story and resources we’ve used along the way.

Our Premarital Story

My wife and I started dating 1 week after being in the same city, dated for 1 year 2 months, were engaged for 11 weeks and then married. Surprisingly our Knot page is still up if you want to read more.

When my wife and I were seriously thinking of getting engaged, we went through pre-engagement counseling with an older couple through the Prepare/Enrich program (non-affiliate link).

Why pre-engagement? We wanted to make sure before an engagement took place and the whole world knew. Broken engagements carry a lot of social stigmatism and some couples will go through with a marriage even when they know they shouldn’t marry. That is why we support pre-engagement counseling.

Prepare/Enrich was a great tool that showed us strengths and potential areas of conflict for our marriage. Money was one of them and we had to go through several discussion to get on the same page. If you are considering marriage, this is a great tool and only requires purchases of the assessment.

You’ll be paired with a volunteer counselor to help interpret the assessment and facilitate discussion between you and your potential mate.

It takes more than just financially compatibility for a marriage to succeed. Prepare/Enrich will indicate if you to should move forward, still need time to talk things out, or perhaps call it quits.

Premarital and Marital Resources

We  read and used other resources before and during our first few years of marriage that were very helpful. I hope they’ll enrich your future marriage too. Let us know in the comments if you have additional suggestions.

Before You Say “I Do”: A Marriage Preparation Manual for Couples– My wife read this as she was praying about accepting my engagement.

Intended for Pleasure– Sex in marriage. A good book for the honeymoon!

StrengthsFinder 2.0– This helped us determine our strengths and how to work as a couple.

100 Answers To 100 Questions To Ask Before You Say I Do– Great for date night conversations before and after marriage.

Pillow Talk for Couples– We read this before going to bed during our first year of marriage and it helped learning how to connect and communicate.

Homebuilders– We were part of a home builders small group during our first year of marriage. We made great friends and learned a ton about marriage.

His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage– Another book we read during our first year. Very helpful all round marriage book.

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men– My wife read this and it helped her learn how men think.

*The above resources have affiliate links. I only suggest products that I’ve used and personally and would recommend to my friends and family.

Do you have other favorite pre-marital or marriage resources?  

[This is part of the Premarital Financial Series]

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Brent Pittman

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Brent is a financial coach and writer looking for the perfect donut. He believes personal finance should be both fun and accessible to anyone willing to learn.