10 Reasons Why Your Budget and Marriage Aren’t Working

Brent Pittman —  05/09/2012 — 15 Comments

Can you balance love and money?

If your budget isn’t working, chances are your marriage is alos having a few issues. You might be having a few of the classic money fights that often occur in marriage or you’re newlywed and learning how to do a budget for the first time. Either way we can all learn how to improve our marriage and our budgeting practices as a couple.

10 Reasons Why Your Budget and Marriage Aren’t Working

1. Different Values- Our values are the underlying current of where our money will flow. Having common values is a key to determining how your money will be spent as a couple. This obscure Jewish guy said:

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”-Matt. 6:19 ESV

2. Mistrust or broken trust- A series of broken promises, blown budgets, or unmet expectations will lead to mistrust. If you don’t trust you’re teammate you’ll stop passing them the basketball.

3. Lying or Hiding something- It could be straight up infidelity or financial infidelity. If one spouse is lying or hiding something from the other, it’s going to reflect in the fiances sooner or later.

4. One spouse has already left the relationship in spirit, but the body hasn’t followed yet. If one spouse constantly doesn’t get a vote in decisions- they’ll check out and eventually find a new place where their voice will be heard.

5. Lost Hope- If one team member looses hope, they drag down the other. A spouse without hope might cope with overspending or expensive overindulgences.

6. You are Lazy- You’ve stopped trying to do a budget and you believe it takes too much time and work. This laziness will leave your marriage and finances in shambles.

7. The budget is too complex- A budget has to be understandable and workable. Unless you both are 10 page excel spreadsheet nerds, make it simple and workable or the budget will just be too hard to follow.

8. Your budget meeting is boring. Spice up your budget meeting and turn it into a budget party that both of you will enjoy.

9. You’ve got a spending addiction- I’m not talking about blowing $50 at Target, but being a compulsive shopper who needs help. Seek professional help if this exists in your home.

10. Selfishness and Entitlement- Focusing on self and getting your needs met, rather than having shared goals and serving your spouse will lead to a lonely road.

Financial issues in a marriage are often symptoms of deeper issues within the marriage that need resolving. If you are facing difficulties in your marriage, don’t be afraid or to macho to attend marriage counseling. Take action today.

Make a commitment to your spouse to grow your relationship and not only your to grow your bank accounts. 

What are your thoughts about budgets and marriage?

If you want to view a few marriage resources, see our list and read some of our marriage story.

Photo credit HikingArtist.com (Creative Commons)

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Brent Pittman

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Brent is a financial coach and writer looking for the perfect donut. He believes personal finance should be both fun and accessible to anyone willing to learn.
  • ImpulseSave

    These are really great ideas to help get to a good place for both your relationship and your budget. I really like the idea to turn working on your budget and talking about a financial plan into a party rather than a chore. Make it a date: have a great dinner, play some music, and have snacks on hand. It can be great quality time with your spouse as well as a way to practice good communication and get on the same page financially. Great ideas!

    • http://www.ontargetcoach.com/ Brent Pittman

      It’s got to be fun or at least tolerable or you’ll stop doing it. We’re going on 5 years of budgeting, that’s about 60 budget meetings/ budget parties…wow! 

  • http://evolvingpf.com/ Emily @ evolvingPF

    My father drove my mother away from their budget due to #7.  Unfortunately they never found a middle ground and have been budget-less since, with some not-so-great consequences!

    • http://www.ontargetcoach.com/ Brent Pittman

      Simple is best. Keep modeling good financial behavior and maybe, just maybe they’ll ask you how you do it. 

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  • http://www.bluecollarworkman.com/ TB at BlueCollarWorkman

    Well, my wife and I might have a bit on an “entitlement” issue, but we tend to be pretty frugal anyway. 

    • http://www.ontargetcoach.com/ Brent Pittman

      I’m guilty of being selfish myself, but we both gotta work on that eh? 

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  • Whitney Sparks

    I can honestly say that when my husband and I brought up the “Big D” it was when times were hard financially. It’s not something that I’m proud of, but 11 years later we’re still chuggin’ along and we’re doing better than ever now that finances are not interfering in our marriage.

    • http://www.ontargetcoach.com/ Brent Pittman

      That’s great to hear! Keep on chuggin’!

  • http://www.fieldofdebt.com/ Jen McDonough

    GREAT post! After paying off over $150,000 worth of debt and cash flowing over $30,000 worth of medically related expenses in 3 years, I totally agree that a marriage WILL grow stronger when you are on the same page financially.
    Live Beyond Awesome.
    Jen
    Twitter: @TheJenMcDonough

    • http://www.ontargetcoach.com/ Brent Pittman

      Jen, sounds like you are a financial rock star! Thanks for inspiring others.

      • http://www.fieldofdebt.com/ Jen McDonough

        oh thanks Brent. Like you obviously are, having a blast sharing that it is possible for people to take financial control
        Many thanks!
        Jen

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